Chapter 9: Bold & Beautiful
When my son was born 11 and a half years back, I was not one of those mothers who instantly took to motherhood and ran with it. I felt a rush of responsibility to keep a human safe and protect him from everything evil. The first night I did not sleep in fear if I don’t hear him, and I miss something important. I was not natural, so it took us some time to bond and over unusual things. We connected over Bollywood songs and rhymes; I would often sing my sentences to him. As I was doing my MBA, I would read the texts aloud to him and he would respond babbling. We would snuggle in the rare English sun in the afternoon. On the days that he would go to the day care the best part was picking him up. That smile when he saw me waiting at the door was priceless. Slowly but surely, he became the center of my universe. The urge to succeed took a backseat in front of the urge to make him most successful and see him happy. I describe our relationship in 4 ways:
Best friends – Yes, he became my best friend. I love talking, for the first time when I realized this baby likes listening and unlike everyone else does not shut me up, we connected instantaneously. What I did not understand was that I created a “Mini-me”. We talk to each other all the time about almost everything. Life, work, career, neighbors, F1 races, teenage heartbreaks etc. He is undoubtedly my best friend. He cares about me, when I am angry, he hugs me silently, when I am sad, he holds my hand, when I am wrong, he points it out, when I disagree, he argues, when I am mom, he behaves almost like a teenager.
Balancing Act – I love and he hates horror movies, so most of the time we end up watching comedies. I love and he hates long drives, so we mostly spend time in the home theatre on his free weekends. He loves and I hate documentaries, so we watch Big Bang Theory. He loves meat and I am a Bong, so we eat a lot of Sushi. I am super OCD, and he is very relaxed, so we never miss any appointments, work very hard and get to enjoy afterwards. I have very strict boundaries and he is a rebel (out-of-the box thinker), so our science projects are fantastic. I love rules and he loves Cars and Ninjago so we build a lot of Legos together.
Biggest Cheer/Critique – if you have read my previous blogs you would know by now that I hold myself to very high expectations. So does he. In the toughest of times whether in personal or professional settings he has stood by me and pushed me to take certain risks. He is not afraid of calling out when things are wrong, and it has pushed both of us to be the best versions of ourselves. We have failed and seen real tough times. We have at the same time enjoyed successes. We do not always agree specially when it comes to approaches to solving a task at hand simply because of our difference in personality, however we always hug it out.
Beautiful and Bold – I cannot even think what life looks like without him. At the same time sometimes, I wonder how I would have been able to handle all the curve balls life threw at me if it was not for him. In the toughest of times, I did not let myself breakdown as I wanted to be a bold example for him. At the same time, he beautifully accepted the challenges and supported me with every bit. Today, I stand again at a very difficult junction of life where we must be bold – if we decide to cross it’s going to be long and tough journey, one on which I must let him walk alone however it leads to the land of numerous beautiful opportunities.
Wish me luck……